


Not Amused

by Waterfall



Series: Tales From the Helsverse [2]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Amusix, Gen, Helsverse Xisumavoid, I'm having way too much fun with this headcanon, Originally Posted on Tumblr, evil xisuma gets the last word for once, well figuratively at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:34:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25265422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waterfall/pseuds/Waterfall
Summary: Evil Xisuma, trying to get back into Hermitcraft despite being banned, stumbles into Hels instead.or,Amusix has anger issues (and does totally not want to meet Xisuma at all, no)
Series: Tales From the Helsverse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1796743
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40
Collections: Froday Flash Fiction Little & Monthly Specials 2020





	Not Amused

**Author's Note:**

> **FFFC 100th Special Challenge Table A:** 10 - trouble
> 
> I referred to this incident in [“Diabolical”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24828172) and immediately had the urge to write it. Enjoy!

Amusix prides himself on knowing everything that goes on in his corner of Hels, and on being the first to know when something new happens. That’s how he clawed his way to the top all these years ago, and that’s how he’s stayed there since. He knows what to offer Sawbones in exchange for his continued support, and which secret blackmail material to use in order to keep BrokenSymmetry in line when she’s at her most bloodthirsty. And when Helsknight gets too full of himself and starts thinking about how Amusix isn’t a fighter and would be so easy to take down, he drops just the right amount of information to get the knight fixated on his Hermit counterpart instead. And thus, the self-styled champion of Hels turns his thought to conquering the other world, all the while believing that Amusix has no interest in it. And he doesn’t, really, except for how it gives him further insight into the pawns around him.

Nevertheless, he finds himself drawn to watching his own counterpart, telling himself that it’s purely in his own self-interest. But he could never really lie to himself (to know all is to master all) and deep in his mind he admits to feeling a kinship with the man, despite his soft-heartedness, lack of ambition, and unhealthy obsession with mob outfits. After all, who could ever be Amusix’ equal except himself? So he keeps an eye on the man, attempting to better himself though an understanding of his own reflection.

As opposed to Cubfoe, Amusix doesn’t rely on anything as crude and mechanical as redstone drones to stay informed. The creatures of Hels are his eyes and ears scattered across his domain and they know better than to hide things from him, which is how he knows of the incident only minutes after it happens. A strange shimmer in the air followed by a string of swearwords and a shape materialising out of nowhere, a shape whose appearance Amusix recognises immediately when he hears it described. The unfortunate Piglin messenger is thoroughly punished for its exaggeration of events – after all, Amusix knows full well that Xisuma (for it must be him) does not swear.

He makes haste to the place of the reported incident and lands next to a figure dressed in red who swears profusely at the sight of his classic black and grey armour. For once, the master manipulator is lost for words as the other looks him up and down and groans in a voice much deeper than his own.  
“Oh, great! Not another one. Which part of that goody-two-shoes are you meant to be? Depression?”  
“I... what?” Amusix retorts smoothly.  
The other ( _not_ Xisuma!) gives a short laugh and turns to look around.  
“Well, I clearly got the brains out of the three of us.” He growls at a passing Piglin, who resents the intrusion but is too frightened to come near them despite their offensive lack of gold apparel. “This isn’t the Hermitcraft Nether, where are we?”  
The abrasive attitude shakes Amusix out of his confusion.  
“This is Hels,” he snaps. “And who are you?”  
“You haven’t figured it out yet? I’m Evil Xisuma. And from the looks of it, that idiot went and cloned himself again. There’s going to be nothing left of him by the time I get back to Hermitcraft.”  
_Cloned...?_  
Looking at the _other_ other Xisuma, several cryptic comments Amusix has overheard his counterpart utter suddenly make a lot more sense. _This_ is the hinted-at menace that had threatened all of Hermitcraft in the past? _This_ is the only person who was ever banned from the other world? This… bad copy? 

As the red-clad “evil” persona continues his boasts, Amusix starts laughing. It is a quiet laugh without the least hint of amusement in it, and it stops the other man in his tracks.  
“Evil Xisuma, is it?” Amusix sneers, circling him slowly. “How evil can you be, I wonder, when all the evils of Hermitcraft are gathered _here_?”  
“Here?” the other echoes dumbly, and he throws out a hand.  
“Look around you. There is nothing here but fire and brimstone, hatred and disgust. Evil? There was no evil left in Xisuma after _I_ came to be. You are nothing more than a pale copy.”  
The other puffs up, insulted.  
“Now wait a minute! I’m plenty evil! I nearly destroyed the world more than once!”  
“ _Nearly_ ,” Amusix hisses, moving close to the “evil” Xisuma and staring into his eyes from exactly the same height. “Couldn’t go through with it, could you?” He scoffs and steps back. “And here you are, unable to even go back into that world. Well,” he draws his sword and points it at the other man in a fluid movement. “I might be able to get some use of you… or maybe the Z.I.T. Alliance can figure out what makes you tick.”  
“Now wait a minute!” He can hear understanding dawn in “evil” Xisuma’s voice, but it is followed by anger and not fear. “No-one threatens me and gets away with it.”  
Pressing the attack before the other has a chance to react, Amusix lunges forward. But however much of a bad copy “evil” Xisuma is, they are still both cast from the same mould and he reacts much like Amusix himself would, by dodging to the side and gaining time to bring out his own sword.

Diamond clashes with netherite, and they are left staring at each other over the sharp blades.  
“If we’re both evil,” the clone pants, “why are _we_ fighting? We should team up to take Xisuma out!”  
Snarling, Amusix twists the swords to the side and goes on the attack.  
“I don’t need anyone’s help to get what I want, let alone from something like _you_! If I want to take down Xisuma, I’ll do it myself.”  
“Evil” Xisuma, expecting the move, turns with the sword and parries.  
“So you’re scared –” he makes an attack of his own, which Amusix blocks, “– is that what you’re saying?”  
The retort makes Amusix’ blood boil. Despite all his contempt for his Hermitcraft counterpart he has never managed to free himself from the naïve thought that if they were to meet he would finally be able to talk to a peer, to someone who would understand him like no-one else ever could. And instead he gets this – a boastful clone who claims to be evil as well, and yet is the most dissimilar thing from himself that he could ever imagine.  
“Shut. Up.” Their swords clash again and Amusix can see the other’s grin through his red-tinted visor, yet another reminder of their differences.  
“You are! You’re just a little chicken,” the clone leers, and makes clucking noises as he thrusts his sword forward in a movement more meant to annoy than to cause any damage. And suddenly Amusix, normally cold and calculating even when he allows his anger to emerge, has had enough. He roars with fury and presses forwards ferociously, his agenda no longer to capture but to kill. “Evil” Xisuma yells in surprise and dodges again, hand briefly going to the cut appearing on his sword arm before having to use both to stop Amusix’ next attack.  
“Yup, that’s it. Definitely scared,” he still manages to retort, gaining another roar from Amusix. The clone wrenches his sword away and tries to counterattack but receives a sword blow to the leg for his troubles. Gone are all Amusix’ thoughts of careful study, of questioning and dissection, now all he wants is to cause the other man as much pain as possible before he kills him.  
“The only thing that scares me is the thought that a bad copy such as yourself is allowed to exist! The universe clearly made a mistake but don’t worry –” he stabs towards the too-familiar face behind the visor, making the other stumble back, “– I’ll fix that in a moment.”  
Blinded with anger, Amusix follows the other one down as he falls on his back, kneeling beside him with his sword poised to strike.  
“Catch!”  
Having lost his sword, his opponent pulls something from his inventory and throws it at him. On reflex, Amusix catches the object and then freezes.  
In his hands, pulsing and hissing, is a block of lit TNT.

He yelps embarrassingly and drops it on the ground before scrambling back, sword and opponent forgotten as he dives for cover behind some basalt blocks. A resounding explosion shakes the ground almost before he reaches safety, and he feels the debris penetrate his suit as his hearts drop down to two.  
“Are you _insane_?” Amusix yells at his would-be victim, before concluding that that is, indeed a likely scenario. At least this way, he reasons as he gets up, brushing netherrack and basalt dust from his clothes, the “evil” Xisuma will be easier to subdue. “All right, you had your fun. Now…”  
As he looks around, his voice trails off as it dawns on him that he is completely alone. Where he expected to see a bleeding, mangled form writhing on the ground there is nothing, not even a trail of blood to follow. It has vanished, probably in the same way the clone arrived here to begin with.  
“No,” he argues, refusing for once to believe the evidence of his own eyes. “No, I’m not finished with you – no!” Blood still boiling, an unfamiliar but strangely welcome anger roils in his gut and makes him see red-clad figures between every pile of blocks.  
“No, I’m not finished yet! Get back here! _Xisumaaa_!”  
His yells of rage send even the ghasts flying in the opposite direction.

**Author's Note:**

> So the Helsverse is now officially a thing, and my headcanons are coming thick and fast! For reference, the other Helsverse characters mentioned in this fic are:  
> Doc = Sawbones  
> FalseSymmetry = BrokenSymmetry  
> Cubfan = Cubfoe  
> Team ZIT = the Z.I.T. Alliance.
> 
> I was thinking about making Evil Xisuma the Helsverse version, but he’s his own person and makes his own space in this ‘verse XD After realising that Xisuma backwards is Amusix the pun was just too good to pass up, and so was the urge to make him a character with very little humour (as opposed to Xisuma, the troll that he is on stream).
> 
> (If you want to, you can also find me on tumblr as [@yuracek](https://yuracek.tumblr.com). I mostly reblog Hermitcraft-related things, but sometimes there may be hedcanons and stuff.)


End file.
